7/11

1.What men do after sex?

2% eat; 3% smoke cigarettes; 4% take a shower; 5% go to sleep and 86% get up and go back home to their wives.


2.Why is your penis better than a credit card?

(a) Once spent it recharges itself.
(b) It is accepted worldwide.
(c) You can let your wife use it as much as she wants.


3.LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, I just found out that our
neighbour's son has a penis like a peanut!
MUM: You mean it's small?
LITTLE GIRL: No it's salty!!!


4.A man was carrying 3 babies in a train.
The lady sitting next to him asked: Are they your babies?

MAN: No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer COMPLAINTS.



5.Women top 5 lies: from the whitest down

5. I am a virgin.
4. It is so big.
3. I can't do that to my best friend.
2. I won't gain weight after marriage
1. I am coming! I am coming!!!



6.A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says: You want to play magic. She says: What is that? He says: We go Home, screw, and then you disappear.



7.What is the closest thing to a woman's period?

Your SALARY... It comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days, and if it doesn't come, you are F*CKED!!!



8.Teacher asked: Which part of the body goes to heaven first?

A Kid replied : The legs...because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING".


9.Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school?

Pupil : Because I heard my sister's boyfriend say, "TONIGHT I WILL EAT YOUR PUSSY".


10.What's the difference between a panty and a stage curtain?

Answer : When you pull down the stage curtain, show is over, but when you pull down the PANTY... IT'S SHOWTIME.


11.AGES OF VAGINA:

16 TO 19 BRAND NEW.
20 TO 28 SLIGHTLY USED
29 TO 36 SECOND HAND
37 TO 45 SUBJECT TO REPAIR
46 TO 55 FOR LUBRICATION
56 TO 60 TOTAL WRECK
61 TO 70 CLOSED FOR RENOVATION!!!!!!!


12.GIRLS' REACTION TO PENIS SIZES

9 INCHES - Oh Shit, pain!!
7 INCHES - Oh, I'm in heaven
6 INCHES - OH PERFECT
5 INCHES - UMMMM OK
4 INCHES - PUSH MORE
3 INCHES - IS THAT IN???
2 INCHES - IDIOT!! JUST USE YOUR TONGUE!!!

Nasi Lemauuuu

I had a bad dream today, or maybe a freaking weird dream.
i was in a pasar malam, selling nasi lemak. that was ok,until i found out that i was actually a pondan! with boobs and long hairrr.



Imagine this guy selling you nasi lemak,mau?


*voice of a nyah*
"Bangggggg nasssiiiii lemakkkkkkkkk bangggggggg.mariiilahhhhhh schedayyppppp tauuuuu!mau uols???singgittt jaaahhhh!"

YEAH BABY YEAH!

Do you still remember back then,when TV was your only "GET AWAY FROM HOMEWORK" and entertainment?
That you would actually wake up super early on a Sunday morning just to watch cartoons?
Speaking of which, when you guys are still a budak who wipes his hingus everywhere,
i bet you enjoy watching Power Rangers kan?

Remember this guy!?


(well you can ignore some dontknowwho's head below his kangkang*)

In todays world,it looks like our favourite Red Ranger has been into another group of rangers.
He is no more Jason we are fond of,
but Brock,the Red Homophile Ranger.




Quoting from a reliable source, Brock "absolutely loves spreading his cheeks for the camera to show off his lightly hairy hole. He definitely loved showing it all off!"

Woohoo!!!
My childhood superhero has gone gayyy!!!
*bangs his head to the banana tree*

For those who are INTERESTED in this picture,and wanting to see more of our Red Ranger's pe**s and "lightly hairy hole",

you are welcome to log in to http://seancody.com/page.php?frame=movie&tab=about&movie=309.

Something Wicked This Way Come

Life is getting more interesting each day,especially when you just realised that you are ALREADY 21.


Son of a bitch its time to scrub this rusty blog.
I have new goals to achieve this time, and for real, im gonna make it happen.

I do believe that life is too short for you to waste around,
so why not try new things?
Ive accomplished some, and i would like to share it with you guys.
Take my advise, go do something that you wouldn't think of.
Just do it.


Guys, Im back.

The Unusual Date

Last week was a headache.
Assignments piling up.
Midterms.
Lecturer pmsing eventhough he owns a dick.
The amount of cash yang berkurangan.
Gf having troubles.

As i said before,
last week was indeed a HEADACHE.

Thus, i somehow felt that i need to make it up with the GF,
as she needs a Time Out for her problems,
and for me as well.
So, i brought her out on a date,
in a very inexpensive way.
As long as you can spend your precious time with the ones you love,
having great conversations,
doing anything, at anywhere, in anytime is something you really treasured.


since there is not much money to be spent,
Lemme introduce you to a way of cutting down your expenses, especially when you are indeed running out of cash.




Here's what you should do.


Get yourself a bike from a friend,




Suprise your girlfriend.

Force her to wear the smelly helmet of yours (eventhough you know that she'll basically complains about it ALL the way of the ride),

*"Baby whose helmet's is this?"*
*"Do you know that its smelly?"*
*"Bawak MOTO ELOK-ELOK!"*
*"Jangan LANGGAR ORANG!"*
*"Don't overtake the car!"*
*"We are soooo being rempit."*
*"Don't cross the red light!"*

Well, this is what you could possibly encounter when your GF is unwillingly forced to ride on a bike with you.

Bare with it.
p/s: i still LOVE you baby!




Start your engine,
And off you go.


See?!
Rempit couples are hot in their own ways.



A picture taken while i was still on the road.



"Sayang why are you still taking pictures?!!!! Banyak kete kat belakangglaa!!!!"



So, after few minutes of "intersecting" the hectic traffic,
with professional skills of sailang here and there,
*sailang means silang, an act which you memotong kereta di hadapan dengan halaju yang laju.Alahhh! you see rempits do that all the time!*



We reached Jonker,
and had our favourite asam laksa meal, and the milky mee rendang at the Nyonya Shop.



Nyum nyum!


The gf was having difficulties in munching the food,
since she got 2 ulsers on her lips.



Slow and steadyyyyyy.





As for me,
with or without ulsers,
everything will eventually masuk into the perut.


Cozy environment,


With a mixture of Nyonya traditions,
a nice place to hang out, and just chill.



Later, we head on to Dataran Pahlawan,
to watch BOLT.




This hamster, Rhino, is so freaking cute!
And thanks to him, she demands a hamster as fat as him for her birthday.

Where to finddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!


After a whole series of events, we went back home.



The whole experience was indeed a tiring one.

Yet, it was filled with love, laughter, and full of excitement.

It is a moment where you'll reminisce in the future, something to giggle about.

Thanks for your time baby,
I love you.

Oh Money

As the time flies so fast, i'd realise that we need to start thinking smart.
Be smart in every move we take, especially when it comes to money.
money, money, oh money.
Money plays an important role in our lives.

People say, Money can buy anything in life, and that includes love.
and i must say, part of me do agree with it.

Everything circulating within our daily lives need cash.

When you eat (food),
when you drink (teh o' ice),
when you take your bath ( sabun palmolive),
and even when you shit ( tandas awam serbaguna).


As i was saying, everything in life needs money.

Therefore,
when someone is trying to save his cash off his ass, he tends to be as "cheap-skate" as he could possible be. and plus, his chinese.
chinese are known for their supercheapskate-ness where ever they go.
Even 20 cents for the baki nk bayar groceries pon berkire.
Its a good thing though.

Morning Giggles

Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi .
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.




A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order." The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."



Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.


Little Susie came running into the house after school one day,shouting,
"Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."


Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.

Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?


1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions .

Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.


Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.